Firelight Confessions
by RiseWithTheSun
Summary: Azula's thoughts and re-telling of the confessional night on Ember Island. What she thinks of all their stories, being on the island again, and what went through her mind when it was her turn to speak. Basically, it's just Azula. Please read and review! Greatly appreciated xD


This is just something I wrote as first fanfic. It's not a series or anything, just a short little something to introduce myself. It follows the happenings of Episode 3.5 - The Beach, but with my own narration out of Azula's head. Without further adieu, enjoy!

Confessions By The Firelight (Azula)

Based on Episode 3.5 – The Beach

Ember Island. I remembered this place from my childhood. The long, sandy beaches, our house on a hill with the views of the water. It had all seemed so much bigger then, so much more impressive.

Occasionally, vivid memories would come back. Chasing Zuko up and down the beach, playing hide and explode in the forest, my mother braiding my hair in the warm sunlight. Just little things that didn't mean anything, but were just kind of nice.

I stared into the small campfire. Fire was truly a beautiful element. It could warm you and save your life, but could also turn on you and kill you in the blink of an eye. There was no doubt it was indeed superior.

I leaned against the fire-warmed rock, only half-interested in watching an outdated painting of my family shrivel and blacken. We'd all looked so different then. Father smiled in the painting, Mother was -well- _there_, and Zuko was still intact. I watched my younger self burn to ashes. I looked so small and innocent, so helpless. Ugh, thank the spirits for growing up.

An argument faintly registered in the back of my mind and I snapped out of my own thoughts. Zuko seemed to be in quite a state. Family stuff always rubbed him wrong. He was so easily set off. Fragile, if you will. Yes, _fragile_, that made me smile.

Ty Lee also seemed a bit rattled. She was sobbing about some family nonsense having to do with not being able to show her true self and be an individual. _Oh, how sad._

"Do you want to know why I joined to circus?" She sobbed, kneeling on the soft sand beside the warmly burning fire. _Oh please, _I thought, _here it comes._

But it wasn't her usual story about how the circus 'called to her'. She said it was the only way she could be different from her sisters and make a name for herself. Mai made a rather rude comment saying that her attention issues explained her constant need for males to chase after her. I had to agree. I had to admit that Ty Lee's story surprised me. It's not that I cared, it's that she'd never told me that before.

Then came Mai. Honestly, it made me laugh that she was even in this conversation. She was basically an unfeeling robot. Even when we were little it was like she was programmed to be unable to have any fun. Well, except when she talked about Zuko. For some reason, she was interested in him. Romantically. Sometimes I got the sense that the feeling wasn't entirely mutual, but it was hard to tell with those two. Zuzu was the same around everyone of late; Bitter, angsty, and tempermental. As for Mai . . . well, she's Mai.

Her little confessional was easily summed up as an overly controlling mother who gave her everything she could ever want as long as she didn't step out of line or get into trouble. That's why she can't express herself, doesn't care about anything, and is opposed to having fun. Volia, Azula the psychoanalyst does it again. That didn't sit too well with Mai.

"You want me to express myself?" She shouted, standing up. I rolled my eyes. Drama, drama, drama. I zoned out as she screamed at me, then at Zuko who went to comfort her. Yes, because he was always _so good _at offering kind words of consolation.

"Guys!" Ty Lee cried. "This much tension is not good for your skin! You'll totally break out!" Ha! How typical of prissy, materialistic little Ty Lee, worrying about her looks at next to the worst time possible. It wasn't until I caught the look on Zuko's face, though, did I realize that Ty Lee's comment did a lot more than annoy just me. My brother's defining burn scar was in full view from my angle and I could sense his energy burning inside him. Such a comment was fine in the 3 years we'd been used to spending without Zuzu, but with him here, I could tell there would be a most entertaining outburst.

"Bad Skin!?" Yelled Zuko, taking a step towards a now-scared Ty Lee. His golden eyes blazed and I found myself wishing there wasn't a fire pit between the two so that there might have been a fight. She apologized, but Zuko continued his temper-induced train of thought.

First he pointed out that 'bad skin' was of no importance considering the disfigurement my father had caused on the left side of his face. Then he continued on a most heartfelt rant about how his honour hadn't granted him happiness. How having all he wanted, including Father's love and attention, somehow made him . . . angrier?

I huffed. He had regained his oh-so-precious honour and still wasn't satisfied! I could never have the throne and meanwhile he has it shoved in his face and doesn't even want it! I felt anger burn in my chest.

"There's only one simple question you need to answer then," I said, looking over at my evidently disoriented brother, "Who are you angry at?" I saw his expression change from confused, to thoughtful, to panicked.

"I don't know!" Zuko shouted, throwing up his arms in frustration.

Well, obviously it seemed that the question was harder than I'd anticipated. We threw around suggestions and prodded him to answer the damned question already (which just made him even more confused and angry). I truly thought his fragile brain would collapse on itself, which would have been rather amusing, when he finally screamed that he was angry at himslef.

Zuko accentuated his statement by Firebending our campfire's flames high into the night sky. _Oh, the theatrics,_ I thought, quite entertained. I couldn't help laughing at his reasons either. Poor Zuzu 'couldn't tell the difference between right from wrong anymore'? That was all adorable, but also absolutely ridiculous! There was only one 'right', and that was the good of the Fire Nation.

"You're pathetic." I mutter. I could tell he looked hurt.

"I guess you would understand, Azula." Snarled Zuko, "You're just _so_ perfect." His voice dripped with venom. I laughed a little. No, I wasn't perfect.

I wanted to tell them how jealous I was of my brother. Just because I was a girl, no one took me seriously. I wasn't allowed in the war meetings, I could never rule the Fire Nation -at least without being regarded _differently_ at best. It was even looked bad upon that I was a warrior. Even my own Uncle Iroh thought that I had been a little girl who wanted dolls and pretty clothes as gifts. It bothered me that no matter how many times I proved that I was deadly and strong, I was still second after my disgraceful and banished brother. Why? Because I was female.

I also wanted to voice my anger that Zuko had always been my mother's favourite. She wasn't impressed by the fact that I was a Firebending prodigy like my father and grandfather were. She simply saw it as my being a monster. When I would tease Zuko, I would be punished even if it was just for fun, thinking I had some 'demonic intentions'. Even that didn't really matter. But the looks did; and the whispered word she thought I never heard. "What is wrong with that child?". She looked at me like I was frightening, like she was . . . ashamed of producing something so evil. My own mother... had believed I was possessed. Well, rightfully so - as I see now- but it hurt quite a bit at the time. Did she think I never noticed how differently she acted around Zuko; How she would tease him and laugh with him? With me, she scolded me for being 'mean' or only spoke about the future, about finding a husband and having a family. I never wanted that kind of a life.

But I didn't say it. Any of it. I was stronger than that. I wasn't going to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing that I had a story just as pathetic as they. No, I knew how to keep my mouth shut. I knew how to keep my image. Ty Lee, Mai, Zuko and I were silent as we looked into the now-calm flames that cast a warm glow on all our faces. The beach _had_ helped us grow closer together. Now I was wondering if that was a good thing.

~RiseWithTheSun


End file.
